Political Aggravists

“I had no idea that after I left in 1986 they would evolve into a band of scientific illiterates…. Clearly, my former Greenpeace colleagues are either not reading the morning paper or simply don't care about the truth.”
-Patrick Moore, Co-Founder of Greenpeace, 2001

Another Evil Corporation Inspired To "Fight Evil Corporations"

The very fact they asked me what my power animal was for my first interview question meant I was already too smart for this organization. "I would say I'm a lioness, but i took a facebook quiz that said I would be an eagle. So I guess I'm a lion...mixed with an eagle. Rar! Tehe!" That would be a griffin, a mythological beast. If she didn't listen to OAR and Tom Petty all the time, she might have known that.

The next person said his power animal was a dolphin. He bore a charm necklace with a porpoise, gleaming with a silver plated finish. Not only was his neck adorned with such trinkets of his animistic identity; his back displayed a permanent array of dolphins leaping blissfully out of his shoulder blades and into his spinal chord. He elaborated upon their majesty and elegance, then about his dead grandmother. So so-far, we have before me a sun-soaked blonde boy in Abercrombie thinking he's a dolphin sitting next to a 25 year old woman who does not have a clue what a griffin is. So here I am. Cold and alone in a room condoning stupidity at its finest. And I must explain my power animal now.

"I'm an otter."
"Okay...why an otter?"
"I like to lie on my back and eat."

So if you want to work for Greenpeace, really start killin' them brain cells and search too hard for the animal in you!

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